I’m fired up to write about this topic. You know how there are some things you can talk about a lot longer than others? This is one of mine.
In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey made a great observation about outcomes. He created a grid that shows different outcomes for any situation:
Win/Win or No Deal
Now, I don’t have room to go deep on these, but just so everyone’s on the same sheet of music - here are some brief definitions.
Win/Win is my favorite. You win, I win, and we win. Kenny Chesney’s going to have to up his game on this one! He was singing about difficult romantic relationships, though. I’m thinking more about the kind of relationships we have in our online mastermind groups.
Win/Lose is good in the right situations. When President Ronald Reagan ran for the White House in 1980 and described the end of the Cold War, he said, “We win, they lose.” That’s a “win/lose” I can appreciate. But for a healthy marriage or business mastermind, it’s probably not the best idea.
Lose/Win makes my stomach churn. When I’m around someone with a lose/win attitude, I feel what the Bible calls “the sentence of death.” This is the defeatist mentality, where you surrender without a fight. As we say back home, that’s about as useless as a steering wheel on a mule.
Lose/Lose is what drives all this hatred and bitterness online today. Like when people argue politics in the comments section on a video of two kittens wrestling. You see how every election, we get a choice between which position we hate less? That’s when you know a spirit of lose/lose is “winning” in our culture.
Win is good if you’re marooned on a desert island alone, like Tom Hanks in Cast Away. If you’re the only human being involved, to keep a positive mindset you have to find a silver lining in everything. But I’ll be honest with you, I’ve been a married businessman for 40 years .. I’m not planning on a hermit lifestyle anytime soon!
Win/Win or No Deal is one of the best of all of these, but you can’t always apply it. I like how Covey makes the point that none of these outcomes is “the best,” without exception. In our mastermind groups online, that’s one rule we have to observe - what works for one situation will not always work for the next!
“Win/Win or No Deal” means you only move forward when everybody’s happy, and that means you’re content to let a situation remain as it is, rather than ruffle any feathers. I love scenarios like this, but the truth is, they can force you to pass up good things for the sake of everybody’s feelings.
Our decision to launch “Come As You Will Be In 2023,” a new initiative to help our mastermind members build their three-year visions, came with some downsides. We had to strengthen the core leadership team at View From The Top. That meant we had to pull a few members out of groups where they had grown deep roots.
That’s an example of how you have to avoid being strict about “Win/Win or No Deal.” It can hold you back from making needed progress.
On the plus side, we’re on a mission to double the size of Iron Sharpens Iron over the next few years, which gives YOU the opportunity to join one of our groups and grow some deep roots of your own.
WHY THE ABUNDANCE MENTALITY MATTERS
“There are no easy answers. … but there are simple answers.”
- Ronald Reagan
I’ll tell you one instance where I’d enforce “Win/Win or No Deal,” and that’s when I’m negotiating with a “Win/Lose” or “Win” mentality. People like this want “wins,” but only for themselves. Sometimes, you have to nip their attitude in the bud. If you don’t, they’ll keep asking for more and more advantage, or they’ll stop caring as soon as they’ve “got theirs.”
What I’m driving at is how the abundance mentality informs my thinking when I negotiate. I don’t mind spending money, but I hate to waste it. I don’t mind paying for a service I need, but I don’t like being sold stuff I don’t need.
So when someone else tries to persuade me of something, I’m much likelier to buy if they are committed to helping my immediate need. To find out what that is, they need to be interested in me as a person, and ask the right questions.
If that’s how I think about being sold, it’s a hop, skip and a jump to figure out … that’s probably how most other folks think as well.
But even if I’m a minority, I prefer to do business with people who think like me. Why would I treat other people differently, when it’s my turn in the sales saddle?
I know I make this sound easy. To quote President Reagan again, “There are no easy answers … but there are simple answers.” Lucky for you, I’ve got a little extra time to describe how this works, and the good news is … it’s simple.
Before we do that, however, I want to encourage you to surround yourself with trusted advisors for the journey. Just because answers are simple, doesn’t mean they don’t need “reinforcements” to help you achieve them! Click here to apply to join one of our mastermind groups.
Blood Money: How to Develop the Abundance Mentality
My friend Rabbi Daniel Lapin made a great observation about two things that don’t seem like they have much in common: blood and money.
Have you noticed how you never talk about either one as a single unit? We always say it in the plural. You say, “I donated some blood,” or, “Can I borrow some money?” You don’t say, “I gave a blood” or “Can I borrow a money?”
That tells me all I need to know when it comes to how much money is out there, and how much blood I can look forward to in life (as long as I don’t cut myself too bad).
This means there are plenty of fish in the sea, and there’s plenty enough to go around. I don’t think this has ever been more true than it is now, when you can literally do business from home with people on the other side of the world.
To change mindsets about this, though, you need to go back to something I mentioned last week - the paradigm shift.
The truth is, we all face the temptation toward “scarcity mentality,” which is the opposite of abundance. If you struggle with it, I suggest hiring business coaches or joining masterminds online. If there’s one thing that’ll stop you from slipping into scarcity thinking, it’s the people you hang around reminding you of how much opportunity is still out there.
So here are some things I do every morning, that keep me right in the sweet spot of abundance.
- Keep a journal. Every morning, I get up around 4:30 and spend time with God. I pray, read Scripture, listen to praise and worship music, and write in a journal. It helps me get my thoughts on paper, good or bad. It’s a safe place to be yourself, and reflect on life from every angle.
- Practice gratitude. I thank God every day, for things both exciting and challenging. Now you might say, “Big A! Are you telling me to be thankful when things go badly?”
Yes, I am. In the Book of Job there’s a verse where Job says, “Shall we accept only good things from God, and not the difficult things as well?” Even if things aren’t going your way, you still have the power to choose to be thankful.
- Join a business mastermind. I have been in masterminds for nearly three decades now. I’m in several groups I facilitate every week. I have coaches and mentors. I have accountability groups. Life keeps getting better for me, because of who surrounds me.
Guys, if you want to know the secret to an abundance mentality … this is it! You have to get real about who you are, warts and all, among a group of trusted advisors who care about you. You need to get “sharpened.” You can’t have an abundance mentality with a scarcity of powerful friends!
I hope you weren’t waiting for me to tell you how to cast a magic spell! If you’re serious about building abundance in your life, now’s the time to apply. Visit our website to join one of our mastermind groups online today.