Relational
Unsupportive Spouse
Life is a journey, and a difficult one at that. Hard work and consistently doing the right thing will lead to a life full of significance and success, but as Psalm 34:19 says, even the righteous man will have troubles. One thing I know about troubles from my own experience is that no matter how bad things get, having a supportive spouse greatly lessens the burden.
My wife has been incredibly supportive of me throughout our journey together, and sharing the successes with her make the reward much more fulfilling.Having a strong relationship with a supportive spouse takes time, effort, and love. If you are married, you already know that you and your spouse don’t agree on everything. There will be times that you don’t see eye-to-eye, but you need to support each other in everything.
As men, it’s our duty to lead by example, to make the tough decisions that could impact our family for generations to come, and to take responsibility for our actions. To do this correctly, we need support.
Supporting your spouse when you don’t agree with them can be difficult, but it’s a two-way street. One of the most effective parenting techniques is for mom and dad to present a united front. What that means is that even if one parent doesn’t see a problem with the child having permission to do something, if the other parent already told the child no, then the answer is no.
Having a supportive spouse is very important to your success. You can nurture her support by showing kindness to her and spending time with her. I created a resource that I call “100 Random Acts of Kindness” and dedicated one section entirely to random acts of kindness towards your spouse. These are the type of things that will strengthen the bond of your marriage and encourage your spouse to always be supportive. I try to commit these random acts of kindness each day in my life, and I can tell you first-hand that your quality of life will vastly improve the more you practice these good deeds. I’m not perfect at this, and sometimes I forget as well, but when I do practice this the results are amazing.
In coaching sessions and with my mastermind groups I often quote the phrase “Don’t come home with a pocket full of money to a house full of strangers.” If you want the support of your spouse, you need to pay attention to her and make sure she feels loved. How can she support you if she feels like she doesn’t even know you? Don’t work around the clock at the expense of your family.
Don’t Be an Unsupportive Spouse
Being a supportive spouse is just as important as having a supportive spouse. If your spouse isn’t being supportive, maybe the reason is because she feels like you aren’t supportive of her either. I’m not saying that’s the right way to act, but it could very well have something to do with a root cause of unsupportiveness. Encouraging and supporting someone without them reciprocating can get pretty tiring, especially with life’s constant cycle of demands on our time and energy. Do the little things, the big things, and everything in between to encourage your wife and show her that you want to be her rock and her support. She might be shocked at first, but over time your relationship will benefit significantly from your efforts to support her.
On your journey to significance, success, and living the life you’ve always dreamed of, you don’t want to have an unsupportive spouse at the center of everything. More importantly, you don’t want to be an unsupportive spouse yourself. Show your wife that you care about her and that the things that are important to her are important to you too. Take a minute today to pull your wife aside and encourage her. Tell her how much you appreciate her being with you through thick and thin, and compliment her on something that you admire about her. Doing little things like that pays major dividends in the long run, and strengthens the bond between you and your spouse. Pay more attention to her, show her that you want the best for her, and you will receive her support. I promise you it will be worth it.
